I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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