May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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