His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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