New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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