Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
