Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
