hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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