I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm so fucking centered right now
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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