The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
