I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
this is an emotional support booty call
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
