Just mADE A PArabola og urine
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
