Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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