you didnt know i had herpes?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
