it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
