I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
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