and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
