hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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