She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
