I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we're making bets on your personal life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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