So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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