We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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