let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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