You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
