there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
