After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
