Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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