I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
