Well apparently he's into motor boating.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
