dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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