You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
