If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
not ubering you a puppy
All I want is dick and wine.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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