I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
