Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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