Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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