y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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