We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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