If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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