SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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