Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
