All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
