why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
