it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
organizing the empties. That sober.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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