so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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