He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
