Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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