You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
