Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
