i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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