i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
