Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
