I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We have started to decorate penises.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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