i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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