just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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