smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
