Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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