The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize