i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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