I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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