I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
