maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think a kid would responsible me up
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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